Shower Shenanigans
by Basmathgirl
Summary: How hard can it be to grab a quick shower? Quite a lot, apparently, when your name is Donna and other people are in the TARDIS after you've saved the universe.


**Disclaimer:** I'll blame the shower for any infringement that might have occurred here.  
><strong>AN:** this started out as a sequel to Forbidden Love, but the tone didn't fit that; so I'm posting it as a standalone.

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><p><strong>Shower Shenanigans<strong>

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>"I'm just going to have a quick wash and change," Donna had said to the assembled people, "and then we can get on with celebrating."<p>

There had been a chorus of agreement from the Children of Time as they finished their tasks at the console. There'd been a sea of beaming faces, all eager to make the most of their fleeting time together onboard the TARDIS.

The shower had just been switched on and she'd stepped under it when there was a sound to interrupt her solitude. So much for that one, she thought. Obviously five minutes alone was considered far too long.

"Donna?! Where are you?" she heard a very familiar voice ask above the cascading water of her shower.

She popped her head outside the shower curtain to yell back, "I'm in here, having a shower! What do you want that's so important? Can't it wait?"

"No, it can't," the voice insisted at a much closer range as a waft of cold air cut clean across her chuff.

She'd kill him for opening the door like that!

"Can't you bloody leave me alone for five seconds?" she loudly grouched as someone obviously made themselves more comfortable within her bathroom. "That's all I needed while you lot put the kettle on." She ducked her head outside the curtain again, and saw the Duplicate Doctor standing there trying to look all innocent as he leaned against the wall as he fought the compulsion to fiddle with her hair ornaments sitting on the shelf by his head, so she threw him a questioning look.

"I told you, it's important," he stressed. "And I'm in here now."

"So I noticed," she retorted as she dripped over the edge of the bath and onto the soft carpeting below. "Come on then, what's so important that you had to interrupt my much needed shower?"

"I erm…" He hastily averted his gaze from her impending nakedness. "I wanted to ask your advice."

"I'd guessed that bit, Time Boy!" Her voice then softened to add, "What's troubling you?"

"It's about Rose," he began. "I wanted to ask you how to impress her for when we… when I… you know, when I'm left with her."

"I thought you were the one with all the Doctor's memories," she remarked as she slipped back into the warm water of the shower.

"Oh I am," he confirmed. "But I don't have any of hers, so I don't know what sort of thing she likes."

"I'd have said it was you, basically; judging by what I've seen," she commented, reaching out to apply more shower gel to her bath sponge.

He saw the movement and joined up the dots to fill in the rest. In fact, her silhouette was remarkably clear. Gulping down the sudden reaction his body insisted on having, he replied, "That isn't enough."

"Isn't enough!" she scorned. "The girl needs her head examining. Here you are, offering yourself on a plate, and she's turning her nose up at you?" That was a snort to accompany her scorn. "She doesn't deserve you, love."

Fidgeting uncomfortably, he adjusted his stance as the movement beyond the curtain continued and the scents from within filled his head. "Be that as it may, I have to find a way to get her to accept me. What sort of thing do girls like?"

"I wouldn't know, seeing as I'm a woman, and not a girl," Donna muttered, hoping he couldn't hear her. "Oh, the usual; you know the sort of thing. Flowers, romance, dinner, jewellery, and a bit of the old blarney. I'm sure you'd know if you put some thought into it. After all, you did sort of live with her for almost two years. Well, not you specifically, but you know what I mean."

"I do," he sadly admitted. "Would that be enough for someone so beautiful? And don't go thinking you aren't beautiful too, Donna Noble. I know how much you discount your own assets."

"I can't avoid them now, can I?" she mocked as she finished cleaning the soap off her cleavage.

"I could come in and help you," he cheekily suggested, gaining the laugh he wanted.

She popped her head out again and pointed her index finger accusingly at him. "You are asking for it."

"Apparently I am." He wriggled about with glee, very pleased with his joke. "So what do you say to a little back scrub?" The accompanying eyebrow waggle gained him another huff of annoyed amusement, but he knew he had gone too far when he went to undo his trouser belt.

"Don't!" she threatened him; and then cocked her head to the side. "Is there someone else out in my room?"

This was confirmed when they both heard Martha's voice call out, "Donna? Are you in there?"

"I won't be a minute!" she cried out and hastily shut off the shower before grabbing for a towel.

The Duplicate Doctor obliged by making sure she caught hold of the bath sheet, and then turned his face towards the wall as she tightly wrapped it around herself. He was in enough trouble as it was without making things worse. "Do you want me to hide in the shower?" he whispered.

"Don't talk wet!" Donna retorted in low tones. "She'd never fall for that one." She then turned her head to yell, "Did you want me for anything in particular?"

"I just wanted to ask you something," Martha loudly replied. "Are you decent yet?"

The bathroom duo shared a look.

"Just about!" Donna loudly informed her.

"Oh good, because…" Martha thrust open the door and saw the Duplicate Doctor standing there, looking extremely guilty. Startled, she asked, "What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing," he tried to nonchalantly say. "Not waiting for a bus or anything."

Martha's eyes narrowed as she looked between the guilty pair. "Why are you fully dressed when Donna is…?" The question halted on her lips as something queasy crossed her mind. "Were you doing something dodgy? Don't tell me you weren't. You look like some pervert standing there, watching her. Were you…?" she began to ask, her eyes dropping to suspiciously consider his lower torso, when the worse thing possible happened.

His trousers fell down.

They all shrieked, for various reasons.

"Sorry!" he blurted out, and he scrambled desperately to stop their downward descent.

"Are you… were you… That's disgusting!" Martha stepped back, reviled.

"Oi! It isn't what you think!" Donna protested, wrapping her towel even tighter around her body. "And as a doctor you ought to know better."

Just then the bedroom door was slammed open and the Doctor rushed in, wielding his sonic screwdriver in front of him, closely followed by Rose and then Jack, with his gun drawn and aimed.

"Where is it? What happened? We heard screams," he announced, swiping the sonic to and fro as though it was a blazing torch and he was fending off savage beasts.

"Yeah, what's going on, Doctor?" Rose queried.

Donna stepped forward and, using her hand, lowered his sonic screwdriver from moving about. "Give over, you tart! There's nothing wrong here, apart from a misunderstanding."

"Did he attack Martha?" the Doctor wondered, gazing at his duplicate still standing there grasping the waist of his trousers. "Martha?" His attention focused on the stunned woman before him. "Are you alright?"

She slowly shook her head. "Yes, I'm alright. It was just a bit of a shock, that's all. But I'm fine now."

"Shall I make you some tea?" Mickey suddenly appeared to offer, standing hesitantly in Donna's bedroom doorway.

"Thanks." Martha smiled her gratitude at him, and let him lead her away.

"Why don't you all come into my bedroom? Just help yourselves. Apparently I'm hosting an orgy tonight," Donna sarcastically grumbled.

"That sounds enticing." Jack smiled with approval, putting his weapon away in its holster and then clapping his hands in glee. "Who wants to start the proceedings?"

"Jack!" the Doctor and his duplicate simultaneously warned him.

But Jack was not to be put off. "What?! If you want to go first, by all means do."

"Excuse me, but I'm freezing my butt off here," Donna complained, "so if you could all…" She mouthed a word and made a gesture. "…off, I'd be very grateful."

She then suddenly felt the Duplicate Doctor's hands on her waist from behind.

"Yes, if you could all leave," he added, "Donna needs to finish drying and getting dressed."

Silently taking hold of his hands, she removed them. "And if you could take Beaker here with you, that'll all happen even quicker."

He quickly shot her a sideways appealing look. "But Donna! We haven't finished yet. You know. The thing!"

"Ew!" Rose scrunched her face up at whatever she was imagining.

Seemingly unaffected by any of this, the Doctor went into a thinking trance. "Oh I see," he absently noted to himself as he leaned in to peer into his duplicate's face. "Is that what I look like when I'm caught doing something? Yes, very guilty."

"I know," Donna proclaimed, and shoved them both away from her. "Why don't you go and look in a mirror together, and you can work that out somewhere else? That way I can stop prancing about in my birthday suit and the draft can stop invading all my important little places."

"I can help you out, Red, if you like," Jack offered, and was surprised when it didn't work.

Instead she started to shove him out too. "Yeah, because I really believe you have the slightest interest in me," she sarcastically informed him. "Go on, sling your hook, and try that line on someone else."

"He might be your only chance," Rose quipped as she followed him out of the bedroom.

Biting her tongue, Donna slowly shut the door behind her. "No he isn't," she murmured once the door was shut. "You scuppered that one." With a sigh, she turned to contemplate her choices within the wardrobe. "Now… What does a woman wear to her last ever party? Let me see."


End file.
